Tips From A Highly Anxious Human

Social Distancing & Shelter-In-Place

I live in Portland, Ore., where shelter-in-place is in full effect (as it is in cities all across the globe at the moment). Everything in life seems to be changing rapidly as we hunker down. Grocery stores still lack toilet paper and everything, in general, has a bit of a horror-film vibe. It’s no surprise that when I check-in with my friends, most of them mention feeling anxious and are getting a bit stir crazy being stuck at home. It’s understandable.

For me, my actual day-to-day really hasn’t changed too much. I work in a creative field without some of the structure of a normal job. I just so happen to also be a bit more introverted and have dealt with anxiety off and on throughout much of my adult life. Additionally, since hitting my 30s my social life changed drastically from my 20s—many of my closest friends live in different cities now, my favorite get-togethers are usually smaller dinner parties, and I’ve substantially cut back on the amount of time I’ve spent at bars. (My at-home bar has gotten much better stocked and quite a bit classier, too… coincidence?) For much of my adult life, I’ve essentially been coping with anxiety, working from home, and finding ways to stay connected to friends I rarely see in-person. It’s like I have years’ worth of Olympic-level training for social distancing.

Since this is new for so many people who are used to leaving their home for 40+ hours a week or accustomed to a very active social life, I wanted to share as many tips as I can to help you feel less anxious during this crazy time in our lives. This first post will be tips all about handing the extra amount of anxiety you may be feeling right now. My upcoming posts will cover my personal tips for working-from-home, tips for staying connected when you have less physical interactions, and ideas for things you can do while stuck at home. If you have any specific questions, leave them in a comment below and I’ll try to address it in an upcoming post.

Dealing With Anxiety

“Breathe,” “Don’t panic,” “There are a lot of things completely out of your control right now, let’s focus on what you can control,” “Everything will be ok.”

These mini-mantras are helpful when I say them to myself, but extremely unhelpful when someone else says anything remotely similar to me mid-panic attack. Funny how that works, right? I have spent a great deal of my life being an anxiety-prone human. I’d have to check with my mom to know for sure, but I don’t remember being nearly as anxious as a young child. It’s something that really developed as hormones changed (yay for puberty). I have two different approaches to how I keep anxiety in check: the little things I do daily that help prevent my anxiety and the things I turn to when I’m in the middle of an anxiety attack. So let’s break it down:

On The Daily

Keep A Routine: For as long as I’ve been dealing with anxiety, it took me a really long time to realize I was more prone to extreme anxiety when I didn’t have a solid routine. As someone who has had a lot of fluctuation in my career, I’ve gone long stretches when my day-to-day wasn’t very consistent. I had my “aha!” moment a few years back during a very slow freelance period. During that time I had way less on my “to do” list than normal and very little structure. After struggling through a few panic attacks, I decided to create structure. I created a “workday” routine and gave myself projects to work on to mirror the same stability in my schedule as to when I’d worked in an office. I do this both when I primarily work from home or when am between projects—I keep a weekly calendar, I wake up as if I’m going to the office, get ready (sometimes I only swap PJs for athletic wear), spend from 9 am to 5 pm working through whatever tasks I set for the day (be that paid work or project I do for fun), and go to bed at a reasonable hour. The structure creates a feeling of consistency and progress.
Move Every Day: I find it particularly important to get physical activity in on the daily. I love to run and most weeks will run five-six days a week. Sometimes I just go for a walk if my head is super noisy. I also follow these indoor workouts about three days a week: My favorites are by Kait Hurley and the premium Nike Training App workouts. I also try to do a little yoga daily—be that a short routine when I wake up, as a cool down after a run, or for a gentle stretch before bed. When facing an extended period of higher stress/anxiety, I set aside 15-60 minutes for yoga every day.
Eat Healthy and Drink Water: Nutrition is important all the time, but I find it even more important when keeping my anxiety lower. Making sure I’m getting enough protein and not over-doing on things like sugary snacks, cereals, and bread has a direct impact on my mental health. Staying hydrated helps as well. During prolonged periods of stress and uncertainty, I find it’s easier for me to stay calm and less stressed if I reduce my caffeine (I still drink coffee but try to cut my consumption slightly) and alcohol intake. I love to drink carbonated water and will switch to that after my morning coffee.
Get a Full Night’s Sleep: A good night’s sleep helps me deal with whatever unknowns the world tosses my way. I feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach when I got a horrible night of sleep and it directly impacts my ability to “roll with it.” I find a consistent “getting ready for bed” routine (which included putting down my digital devices) and a nice cup of herbal tea usually does the trick. For nights I can’t shut my brain off, I’ll use a sleep cast or a guided sleep meditation (I use the Headspace app). If I’m really struggling, I’ll take a small amount of CBD oil (I like Feals). Personally, I also find it useful to limit both alcohol and news consumption before bed. I struggle to sleep after reading or watching horrific news too close to bedtime and I never feel well-rested after a night of drinking.
Meditation: I go through phases of meditating consistently. I wish I could tell you that after years if practice, I meditate daily. I don’t. I meditate closer to weekly during the “good times” and daily during stressful times. I do find it helps. It helps me identify my feelings, my triggers, acknowledge uncomfortable thoughts and move on. Again, I tend to favor audio guided meditations. I’m just not so great at meditating without them.
Journal/Therapy: Over the years this has ranged from just adding notes about my feeling into my paper daily planner to keeping a notebook where I wrote about my mood anytime I was upset. Sometimes getting things on paper can help you sort through your emotions and let them go. I also can’t understate the benefits of talking to a good therapist. It can be trial and error to find someone who fits your style and needs. I talked to a few before finding someone who I clicked with, but I developed great skills and thought processes through therapy.

Mid-Panic Attack

Sometimes no matter how good I am at following a lifestyle that mitigates my anxiety, I still get a panic attack. My heart rate surges, my thoughts race, I struggle to breathe, and if it’s really bad I’ll just start crying—over nothing. This doesn’t happen to me very often anymore but I’ve had a couple since the COVID19 pandemic hit the west coast. Here are a few things I find help in the middle of a panic attack:

Don’t Talk Negatively: By this I mean, be kind to myself and don’t mentally beat myself up or make myself feel less than because I’m panicking. I try to be accepting that I’m feeling an overwhelming amount of emotion. It will pass.
Deep Breathing: If I’m in public, I trying to find somewhere quiet and distant from people. If I’m at home, I’ll go sit in my room or find a sunny patch alone in the yard. I’ll sit, or pace around, with my hands on my stomach and just breathe. Sometimes counting the breaths I take and slowing my breaths to match my counting pace. Focusing on my breathing helps bring my heart rate down and feel grounded.
Talk: During a bad panic attack, I find it useful to call someone (usually my mom) and just talk. Not about my panic or stress or worries. I like to start talking about things that will get my mind distracted. It can be anything between asking what’s going on in someone else’s life, to chatting about books and TV shows we liked. It helps me feel more connected and grounded and is a good reminder that life is okay.
Mediation: If I’m not successful with my deep breathing or can’t chat on the phone with anyone, I’ll pop on a guided meditation to help. Headspace has SOS mediation designed specifically to help.
Try a Calming Hobby: Once I’ve made it through the initial panic attack, I find it helpful to direct my attention to a task I find calming. For me, this is usually baking. I find baking a very calming activity. For you, it could be cooking, coloring, painting, knitting… etc. I find it best to pick something that requires more active participation than watching tv or reading but find something that works well for you. We’re all different.

Remember it is okay to feel anxious right now. It’s okay to feel worried or disappointed. These are all valid feelings while facing uncertain times or an unprecedented global health crisis. There are a lot of things out of our control in life and that can be scary or overwhelming at times. Hopefully, some of these tips can help if you’re feeling anxious and let me know in the comments how you’re spending your days during shelter-in-place.

Stay safe, stay healthy