We Got Engaged!

Isn’t it romantic?

My partner of nearly three years, Simon, and I are getting hitched!

The official story for how it happened actually isn’t all that interesting or romantic in the way people typically think of, but I like it anyway. We simply had a conversation. We’d talked about it briefly before officially deciding the timing was right. While this doesn’t fit any of the big Hollywood-style, romantic engagement moments people have on TV, I think it was perfect. It’s very fitting for us (a relationship that has been characterized by the laidback, responsible tone that comes with aging out of my more dramatic 20s). It’s not cinematic but I love our story. I think it was a healthy, low-pressure way for us to come to the decision that we both want to spend the rest of our lives being there for each other.

It was Tuesday morning when we made it official and ordered a ring we picked out together—a gold ring with a larger pink, slightly crooked gemstone with our names engraved on the inside. I spent a solid hour measuring and re-measuring and comparing rings to figure out my ring size (ironically the ring still ended up being about a half size too big… but more on that later). We told our family gradually over the next week and a couple of super close friends, but for those first couple weeks, it kind of felt like our own exciting little secret.

Here’s the ironic part: No woman in my family has ever gotten proposed to. My dad accidentally told my mom that he turned down a job transfer because “his fiancee lives” in Oregon before ever proposing. A story that is infamous in my family. My older sister and her husband had been together for five or six years and just had a conversation. I always told myself, I’d break the pattern! I’d be the one to have an actual proposal. And then??? It just didn’t happen that way. The tradition stands! I might have been irritated about this when I was younger, but, honestly, I now just find it funny.

And then the ring came

So! For as “non-romantic” our technical engagement story is, the story about the ring was absolutely perfect.

The ring arrived about a week or two after we “got engaged”. We’d already told the people we are closest to but to the rest of the world, it was still our little secret. That Friday evening, Simon and I went for a little drive up to the Portland Rose Garden. It was a bit drizzly out and we had these beautiful gardens all to ourselves. We stopped in front of the water fountain and Simon proposed.

Now I knew this was going to happen. It wasn’t a surprise that that was the reasoning for our trip to the Rose Garden, but that didn’t take away anything from the experience. It was touching; it felt special; I got way more emotional than I anticipated. For someone who claims to not be very romantic, my fiance can knock it out of the park. It was perfect. (You can see a video of the who thing here)

Happily ever after? That’s the plan

A blogger I followed once said that she felt the biggest change in her relationship with her husband was after they got engaged and marriage felt more like falling into a new rhythm. “Getting engaged felt like it unlocked a whole new level of love.” It sounded so cheesy when she said it (and I’m not a very cheesy person) but now that I’m engaged, I totally get what she means.

Since we’ve gone public with our engagement, I’ve gone full-steam ahead into wedding planning. I’m not the type to “plan my wedding” before having a long-term relationship, but I am a big Pinterest fan (follow my boards if you’re into home decor, recipes, etc.). I’ve been pinning inspiration to a hidden wedding board for years, not because I’m obsessed with weddings but because they’re pretty ideas that I wanted to save. There was something kind of exciting about making that board public.

Something really unexpected happened to me after I got engaged… all those things I use to make fun of other brides for doing—things I swore I’d never do—I’m suddenly all about. White robe with “bride” embroidered? Cheesy bride t-shirts? Bridesmaid swag no one needs? Pre-engage Gretchen thought this stuff was silly and too “sorority.” Post-engage Gretchen??? Sign me up! And let’s toss in a monogrammed hanger in there as well—just for good measure. I also started really rethinking changing my name. Pre-engage Gretchen has said on many occasions that I would keep my last name. Now that I’m actually facing the decision for real? Sharing a name with my husband sounds kind of nice.

I also never expected getting engaged would immediately take over so much of my headspace. Now I spend pretty much all my free time dedicated to planning the wedding. Turns out, you put a ring on my finger and I transform into the girly bride I never knew was inside me. I’m okay with this new side of me…

Stay tuned for more wedding details and follow me on social for even more content.